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  GUILTY PLEASURES
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Unless you're a zombie or some carnivorous monstrosity that feeds on Hypothalamus glands. If you know anything about evolutionary biology, you know why Dr. Green's (Penelope Ann Miller) initial idea to kill the creature in The Relic would have worked. Of course, we're assuming you don't.
Put your knowledge of all-things that creep, slither and crawl to the test with the only movie monster survival guide/quiz book of its kind.

What will you do when they come for you?
Live and learn. Learn and live!
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Lights, Camera, Trivia
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All questions and quizzes written by Philip Cerreta unless otherwise noted
We're taking Thornton (Rodney Dangerfield) to school on this first question and you to a scene that never appeared in the film. It's the grand opening of his first tall and fat store, but not everyone is thrilled by what they see. Before anyone even steps inside the place,
Allan Metter, 1986
the elder Melon (Boris Aplon) turns to his son with a look of disappointment and asks why. That's all you're getting from us. Figure it out.

2. You'd think someone who owed much of their success to the FFA (Fat Folks of America) would be a little more considerate of their feelings. We're referring to a joke in one of his commercials that some of his customers must have taken as an insult. Get rid of it, Melon, before the rest of them get rid of you.

3. To avoid any further "honest (and embarrassing) mistakes," Grand Lakes University now requires all visitors and incoming freshman to purchase a copy of this quiz and its campus directory. We shouldn't have to ask how someone could mistake a sorority house for their son's residence, like Thornton did, but we must and we will.
4. Jason (Keith Gordon) lied to his dad about being in a fraternity and being a member of the swim team, although the latter wasn't too far from the truth. Explain.

5. How does someone with no high school diploma or SAT scores of any kind get into college? Just show the right person the money. No
dough, no go, as in it better be a significant donation. What was Thornton's contribution to the university?

6. Not that this is ever going to happen, it can't because both actors have sadly passed, but if we ran into Paxton Whitehead at a party, we'd introduce ourselves as a couple of fans and then tell him there's someone else we'd like him to meet. He'll know exactly who it is when we refer to Rodney as the "walking epitome" of what?

7. There's committed and
those who simply should be. Don't expect to pass our course if you do what most of Professor Terguson's (Sam Kinison) students did in his Contemporary American History class. Say it. Saaaaaaaaaay it!

8. Through the magic of CGI and editing we're going to replace the item that Thornton swapped for a pen in Diane's (Sally Kellerman) poetry class with something far more appealing. Sorry kids, it's not Bubbles. What will vanish when we transform the item in question into a copy of our incredibly awesome first volume?
If you're going to make your life a living hell, get something out of it. The guy downstairs is always willing to negotiate. Monty (Rodney Dangerfield) would have been better off making a deal with the devil. Of course, if he had, he may not have been able to attend his daughter's (Jennifer Jason Leigh) wedding or do what he did to cure one of his other headaches. What the hell are we referring to?
Easy Money
James Signorelli, 1983
Back To School
(1) Thornton dropped the "I" from the family name. The sign read, Thornton Melon's Tall & Fat clothing stores instead of Meloni's. (2) Thornton joked, "if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people." (3) He stopped at the first house he saw with Greek letters. (4) He was the team's towel boy  (5) He financed the Melon School of Business Administration (6) The decline of modern education (7) Jason told his dad to keep his head down and his mouth shut. Participation is an absolute must in our class. (8) A calendar

Easy Money
He drank some holy water to wash down an aspirin.
15 Questions